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boxing

Unger Suspicion

Ben Heppner and Howard Dyck to Take on Timothee Chalamet in High Stakes Prize Fight

March 16, 2026 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After actor Timothee Chalamet stirred up controversy across the arts community this week for his dismissive comments about ballet and opera, boxing promoters have offered a $50 million prize to see Chalamet enter […]

Unger Games

Mike Tyson to Fight Mennonite Man Named Jake Pauls

November 15, 2024 Andrew

FRESNO, CA A paperwork mixup has boxing legend Mike Tyson set to square up against Fresno area farmer Jake Pauls tonight. “Yeah, when I got the note in my church mailbox, I thought, ‘oba, it […]

Unger Games

Fred Penner and Al Simmons to Square Off in World Heavyweight Title

July 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Popular local children’s entertainers Fred Penner and Al Simmons will square off this fall to determine the World Heavyweight Champion. “I’ve got a lot of beefing up to do before then,” said Juno […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man to Challenge Floyd Mayweather

August 27, 2017 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV A Mennonite man from rural Kansas is set to become the first ever pacifist boxer this fall in a bout against world champion fighter Floyd Mayweather. Dale Friesen, 37, says he has […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Declares Himself ‘Greater Than Muhammad Ali’

June 4, 2016 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Just hours after he discovered that legendary boxer Muhammad Ali had passed away, insensitive Rosenort resident Cornelius Clausen, 71, has taken to social media to declare himself “the greatest man who ever lived.” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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