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Unger Conviction

First Mennonite Church Shall Become Last

March 11, 2020 Andrew

ROSENHOF, MB In an effort to appear more humble the First Mennonite Church of Rosenhof is changing its name to the Last Mennonite Church of Rosenhof. “We’re proud of how humble we are,” said Pastor […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Generous Tip of Two Gospel Tracts

March 5, 2020 Andrew

KIDRON, OH A waitress at a coffee shop in Kidron was excited by the generous tip left by one of her patrons this morning. After ordering two slices of toast and a glass of orange […]

Unger Suspicion

Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book

February 24, 2020 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MI In many Bibles, red letters denote the words of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Now, however, they’ll be used to denote the words of inexplicably popular Texas preacher Joel Osteen, who has decided to […]

Unger Conviction

Bible Camp Shuts Down After No One Memorizes Enough Verses to Attend

July 2, 2019 Andrew

LITTLE HAPPY MENNO BIBLE CAMP, ON Little Happy Menno Bible Camp in Northern Ontario has had to shut its doors this summer after not enough kids memorized their verses this year. “We kept lowering the […]

Unger Suspicion

King Solomon to Undergo Wisdom Tooth Surgery

May 13, 2019 Andrew

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL King Solomon of Israel is undergoing wisdom tooth surgery this week after a dentist told him “they’re basically useless and your mouth is too crowded as it is.” Solomon claims he was reluctant […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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