The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

altona

The Daily Bonnet

Jantsied Man in Denial that He’s from Jantsied

November 30, 2021 Andrew

JANTSIED, MB Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Mr. Friesen of jantsied is utterly convinced that he’s from ditsied. “I don’t know what’s wrong with that man,” said Mr. Wiebe standing firmly in ditsied. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ditsied Outpaces Jantsied in Race to Get ‘Jeimpft’

July 10, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Siemens of Winkler has been refreshing the regional vaccine percentage page every few hours or so, trying to see if his Jantsied squad has a chance of catching up with the Ditsieders […]

Unger & Thirst

Altona Votes to Adopt Knackzoat as Legal Tender

June 10, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB A referendum held in the southern Manitoba town of Altona this week resulted in a 92% vote in favour of adopting knackzoat as legal tender. “Currently we’ve set the exchange rate at one […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I Thought it Said ‘Make Altona Great Again'” says MP

January 9, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After literally minutes of controversy, Portage-Lisgar MP Candice Bergen is finally speaking out about the undated photo of her wearing a camo MAGA hat. “I thought it said ‘Make Altona Great Again,’” Bergen […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Brings In Extra Friesens to Print that Daily Bonnet Guy’s New Novel

August 31, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The demand for Andrew Unger’s new novel Once Removed is so high that Friesens of Altona has got local Friesens working overtime to print copies of the book. “We put out an All Friesen bulletin,” said […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Goertzen to Spend Retirement Years Playing High Stakes Competitive Crokinole
    December 10, 2025
  • Mennonite Man Having Real Difficulty Solving this Maze
    October 18, 2021
  • Peace Talks in Winkler-Morden Move Toward ‘Two-State Solution’
    February 2, 2018
  • Retired ‘Main Street Cruiser’ to Become ‘Sunday Driver’
    October 23, 2017
  • Can We Guess Your Age? (For Mennonites)
    May 18, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved