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Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Fined by Airline for Trying Baggage Hack of Wearing All Her Clothes

May 25, 2023 Andrew

ST. CATHERINE’S, ON Mrs. Berg of St. Catherine’s, Ontario received a $606 fine after attempting to board her Air Canada flight to Kitchener this afternoon wearing all her clothes. “Got any bags to check?” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Sunwing Passengers Stranded in La Crete, Alberta

January 6, 2023 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Rather than the sunny climes of Mexico, an entire plane of Sunwing Passengers somehow found themselves way up in northern Alberta this week. “I don’t know how the heck we got up […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Left in Awkward Position After Neighbouring Passenger Falls Asleep on His Shoulder

July 15, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN On a flight from South Bend to New York City this week, local man Arthur Yoder was left in a really awkward position after a neighbouring passenger fell asleep on the Mennonite man’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Denied Boarding for Carrying Two Ice Cream Pails of Jreewe

June 6, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mrs. Deirdre Giesbrecht was denied boarding of JantsiedJet Flight 606 this afternoon after her ice cream pails full of cracklings were declared a “liquid” and therefore not suitable for carry-on luggage. “Oba nay! […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Usher Duct Tapes Unruly Parishioner to Church Pew

August 12, 2021 Andrew

WAKARUSA, IN An unnamed local man was flying off the handle in church this Sunday and had to be restrained with duct tape by South Wakarusa Mennonite’s top usher Mr. Beck. “He was clearly intoxicated […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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