CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI
A new White House anti-DEI bill has inadvertently targeted the small Canadian province of Prince Edward Island.
“It’s unfair, totally unfair. Those woke Canadians have a whole province dedicated to PEI,” said Trump. “I’ve been against PEI forever. PEI is so unfair, so unfair, to our good proper real Americans.”
The White House has warned Americans against watching Anne of Green Gables, eating potatoes, or crossing the Confederation Bridge.
“They’ve got worst PEI up there I’ve ever seen,” said Trump. “I hear they only give jobs to red-haired freckled little girls.”
All PEI oysters will also be removed from stores, while Americans will now be expected to squeeze on a little lemon and slurp back McDonald’s cheeseburgers, instead.
“To have PEI so close to the American border is unacceptable,” said Trump. “I demand that Canada puts an end to this blatant PEI immediately.”
Trump is also demanding that Anne of Green Gables be replaced with Andrew Tate of Green Gables.
