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trump

Unger the Influence

Prince Edward Island Becomes Accidental Target of White House Anti-DEI Campaign

July 28, 2026 Andrew

CHARLOTTETOWN, PEI A new White House anti-DEI bill has inadvertently targeted the small Canadian province of Prince Edward Island. “It’s unfair, totally unfair. Those woke Canadians have a whole province dedicated to PEI,” said Trump. […]

Unger Suspicion

Massive Algae Bloom Discovered Beneath Gordie Howe Bridge

July 22, 2026 Andrew

WINDSOR-DETROIT Moments after the US struck a deal to take over the Gordie Howe Bridge, a massive algae bloom was discovered in the Detroit River. “Someone cut it, cut it with a boxcutter or something,” […]

Unger Games

FIFA Agrees to Let Trump Officiate Tonight’s World Cup Match

July 6, 2026 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA After a last second phone call from Donald Trump, FIFA President Gianni Infantino has agreed to let the US President act as head referee for tonight’s match in Seattle. “He knows so much […]

Unger the Influence

Trump to “Completely Destroy” Military He “Completely Destroyed” Last Week

May 30, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A completely destroyed and annihilated military has somehow managed to take over the Strait of Hormuz this afternoon, which means Donald Trump will have to completely destroy the completely destroyed military yet again. […]

Unger the Influence

Trump Really Excited About New $1.8 Billion Slush Fund

May 20, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC The White House just announced this week they’d be creating a $1.8 billion slush fund, specifically designed to provide Trump and his buddies with a neverending supply of 7-11 Slurpees. “I’ve hand-selected a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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