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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Elders Support Trump’s TikTok Ban

August 1, 2020 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Mere seconds after President Trump threatened to ban the teen dancing app TikTok, thousands of Mennonite elders gave an enthusiastic thumbs up to the move. “It’s about time! That app has been luring […]

Unger & Thirst

Trump Orders Farmer Sausage Plants to Stay Open

April 28, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In an effort to make sure that Mennonites don’t starve, U.S. President Donald Trump issued an order Tuesday afternoon to make sure the nation’s farmer sausage supply is not hindered by the global […]

Unger Suspicion

US Government Accidentally Builds Wall on the Old Mexico Border

August 11, 2019 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Residents of California, Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico and Texas woke up this morning to find that construction of a massive wall had already begun on their northern borders. “I was going to visit […]

Unger Suspicion

Uncle Abe Really Pumped to Meet Trump

February 9, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After seeing his name on a BBC News broadcast, local man Abe Sawatzky is really excited to meet the President of the United States on Saturday. “I was in the barn with the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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