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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Uses the Same Tea Bag for a Record Ten Years

March 8, 2017 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Area woman Ms. Deloris B. Pankratz has just tied the Blumenort record for continual use of a single tea bag. Reporters throughout the region will be present at her afternoon lady’s Bible study tomorrow […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Co-sleeps With All 15 Children

March 8, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Long before it became a trend with young 21st century bohemian mothers, Mennonites have practiced the art of co-sleeping with their children. Maggie Martens of La Crete, Alberta, for example, co-sleeps with […]

The Daily Bonnet

Typo Leads Ted Falk Supporters to TED Talk

March 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A minute spelling error in a newspaper ad led hundreds of Ted Falk voters to a lecture hall at the University of Manitoba this past week. Instead of a speech by the Provencher MP, they […]

Unger Suspicion

Kitchener-Waterloo to Be Renamed Waterloo-Kitchener

March 7, 2017 Andrew

WATERLOO-KITCHENER, ON Tired of always taking a backseat to neighbouring city Kitchener, residents of Waterloo have successfully petitioned the Ontario government to change the name of the metro area from Kitchener-Waterloo to Waterloo-Kitchener. “All those […]

The Daily Bonnet

Religious Bumper Stickers Causing Accidents All Over Southern Manitoba

March 6, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A legion of bumper sticker-laden pickup trucks and minivans across southern Manitoba are causing traffic accidents throughout the region as people strain to read the Bible verses or inspirational messages. “I was just reading […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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