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Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main Barricades to be Moved to Main and Brandt

October 24, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that Steinbach has taken a cue from it’s larger neighbour to the north and has decided to barricade Main and Brandt and force pedestrians to cross the intersection through poorly-lit pathways […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach City Council Candidate Reveals Shocking DNA Test Results

October 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local city council candidate Mr. Harder decided to take a DNA test this week after being called a “Lutheran” by one of his political rivals. The rival, Mr. Dyck, said he would donate […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Children Horrified as Grandpa Takes a Bite out of ‘Petunia Rhubarb’

October 21, 2018 Andrew

REINLAND, MB The Brandt kids were settling in for a nice lunch with Grandma and Grandpa, when things got a little awkward. Grandma came into the house and presented the children with a lovely array […]

The Daily Bonnet

New TV Show ‘Cash Buggy’ Offers Riders a Chance to Win Money While on the Way to Church

October 20, 2018 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON A new spin-off of the popular TV show ‘Cash Cab’ offers conservative Mennonites and Amish the chance to answer a few trivia questions and win a bit of money on their way […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Acting like an idiot’: Mennonite Driver Clocked at Just 2.32 km/hr on Trans-Canada Highway

October 19, 2018 Andrew

THOMSON STATION, NS According to CBC News, a Mennonite driver vacationing in Nova Scotia this summer, was allegedly caught driving at over 2 km/h on the Trans-Canada Highway this week. “This is the fastest speed […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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