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Unger Suspicion

Medical Experts Predict Fourth Wave of False Analogies

September 3, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Newly-released modelling suggests a coming fourth wave of false analogies sometime this fall. “If we don’t get things under control, we’re going to have a huge surge of folks comparing getting a needle […]

Unger Suspicion

Pallister to Live Out the Rest of His Days in Quaint Central American Colony

September 2, 2021 Andrew

BLUE CREEK COLONY, BELIZE A mix-up in paperwork had former Manitoba Premier Brian Pallister arriving at a conservative Mennonite colony in Belize, rather than the resort in Costa Rica he had intended. “Oba, waut on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Things to Expect Now that a Steinbacher is in Charge

September 1, 2021 Andrew

For the first time in 151 years a Steinbacher, Kelvin Goertzen, was sworn in as Manitoba Premier this morning, and many Winnipeggers are wondering just what to expect over the next sixty days of his […]

Unger & Thirst

Premier Goertzen Sworn in on a Stack of Perogies

August 31, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Manitoba’s first Russian Mennonite Premier Kelvin Goertzen, MLA for Steinbach, was sworn in a stack of perogies this afternoon. “I learned this technique from Brad Wall,” said Goertzen. “You simply can’t go wrong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Takes the Tractor to School

August 30, 2021 Andrew

From the archives BLUMENHOFF, MB The Bergmanns of the Blumenhoff area loaded up the Massey Ferguson this morning for the first day of classes at the old Blumenhoff School. “Got the Massey fired up, got […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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