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Unger Suspicion

New Movie Stars Matt Damon as the Last Ever Dueck

November 18, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Spoiler Alert. Matt Damon dies at the end of The Last Dueck. Or maybe he doesn’t? I guess you’ll just have to see which of the Duecks survive in this brand new film […]

The Daily Bonnet

Peter Reimer Comes From A Long Line of Peter Reimers

November 17, 2021 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Local man Peter Reimer, 69, always knew his father was a Peter Reimer, but after consulting with the genealogy experts at the Mennonite Heritage Village, discovered that he was descended from a line […]

Unger Suspicion

Timothéeee Chalamet Adds a Couple Extra E’s

November 16, 2021 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Dune star Timothéeee Chalamet has just broken the record for more successive E’s in a name after having his name legally changed from Timothée to Timothéeee earlier this week. “I looked at my name up there […]

The Daily Bonnet

From Knackzoat to Plumi Moos: Five Amazing New Gifts in MCC’s Annual Christmas Giving Guide

November 15, 2021 Andrew

Christmas is a time of giving and generosity. Ever year at Christmas, the MCC offers folks the chance to choose items to donate from their gift giving guide. In addition to old favourites like wells, mosquito […]

Unger Suspicion

Pop Star Releases New ‘Voices Together (Taylor’s Version)’

November 14, 2021 Andrew

WEST READING, PA It’s a little known fact that as a young girl in Pennsylvania, pop star Taylor Swift became quite familiar with the Mennonite Church hymnal. This, according to Swift, is what inspired her […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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