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Unger Games

Jets Add Mennonite Sunday School Teacher to Lowly Power Play Unit

March 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Desperate to get things going on their lacklustre power play, the Winnipeg Jets have brought in All-Star forward Mrs. Janzen of the Altona Mennonite Church Sunday School floor hockey league. “We’re not moving […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB It’s the beginning of spring and, you know what that means – only 8 more weeks of winter here in Manitoba. “I always love this time of year,” said Garth Reimer of Killarney. […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman’s Ice Cream Pails Full of Cash Completely Unaffected By Banking Crisis

March 21, 2023 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Unlike a significant number of her contemporaries, Mrs. Broesky of Linden, Alberta was completely unconcerned this week about the banking crisis south of the border. “Oba, I was getting messages on the WhatsApp […]

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

James Reimer Declines to Wear ‘Violent’ San Jose Sharks Jersey

March 19, 2023 Andrew

SAN JOSE, CA Saying that the violent imagery goes against his religion, San Jose Sharks goalie James Reimer has declined to wear the team’s jersey. “It’s something that has weighed heavily on my conscience ever […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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