OTTAWA, ON
The Mark Carney government has plans to ban social media for all children under the age of 16.
“But don’t you worry, kids,” said Carney. “We’ve got plenty to keep you entertained. Starting this fall, we’ll be offering free unrestricted access to our complete archive of Hinterland Who’s Who.”
The popular wilderness show from the 60s introduced Canadian children of that era to the wonders of the beaver, the loon, and even the Atlantic puffin.
“Real riveting stuff,” said Carney. “I mean, I grew up on that show and look how I turned out.”
Also on the docket for the children are reruns of The Irish Rovers, Hymn Sing, and Front Page Challenge.
“With high quality programming like this, I really don’t think they’re going to miss that social media,” said Carney. “We’re even offering a free app that provides 24/7 access to the Log Driver’s Waltz.”
After the announcement was made, the opening flute song from Hinterland Who’s Who has already gone viral on TikTok.
