New Bothwell Resident Arrested for Putting Processed Cheese on His Burger


Local man Mr. P_________________, has been arrested and arraigned on charges of failing to use Bothwell cheese at a BBQ this week.

“Not only was he not using the best cheese in Canada, but he had the audacity to throw on some of those disgusting plastic-wrapped slices,” said Mr. Thiessen. “He’ll be lucky if he can ever show his face in New Bothwell again!”

Mr. Thiessen is glad that Mr. _________________ has finally been caught, because this kind of thing has been going on for quite some time.

“I’ve always suspected he was into some pretty shady activities,” said Mr. Thiessen, “and I’m glad to finally catch him in the act and let the authorities deal with it.”

Mr. P________________ had reportedly tainted more than a dozen burgers with his Kraft singles slices before New Bothwell village police stepped in and arrested him.

“We also found a half dozen boxes of Kraft dinner and some Cheese Whiz in his fridge,” said Constable Doerksen. “We’ve got enough evidence to put Mr.  P____________ away for a very very long time.”

Mr. P_______________’s lawyers are already coming up with their strategy, but some are suggesting the only possible defence for such actions is to plead insanity.

(photo credit: Mike Mozart/CC)

Mennonite College Student Faints with Excitement at Hauerwas Lecture
Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason