Paska Buns Kept Six Feet Apart to Keep Mennonites Safe


Mrs. Martens of Neubergthal has spaced out all her paska buns six feet apart this Easter to make sure no one catches any undesirable illnesses.

“I got the tape measure and laid them all out on the floor,” said Mrs. Martens. “It has the added benefit of making my Earl get up and walk a few feet before consuming another paska bun.”

Mrs. Martens rummaged around in Earl’s toolbox to find the measuring tape, just to make sure these delicious Easter treats were properly spaced.

“We’re using up more real estate than we usually do this Easter,” said Mrs. Martens, “but if Earl has to eat his paska and schikjefleish in the barn to keep from getting sick, then so be it. I think he likes it better in there anyway.”

The new procedures are a bit of a hassle, but Mrs. Martens is not going to take any risks.

“I’ve got the salt six feet from the pepper and the schmaunt six feet from the fat,” said Mrs. Martens. “It tastes a little funny, but it works.”

The Martens family will be keeping things small this weekend and not inviting the extended family, but Mr. Martens was not bothered by this, saying that any holiday he can spend without his mother-in-law is a blessing from above.

Streets are So Empty that Mennonite Man Thinks He Missed the Rapture
Mennonite Church Holds Potluck Via Zoom