Find Out All the Data Nosy Mrs. Martens Has Collected About You

After being ordered by United States Congress to inform users about the data being collected on them, ‘The Mrs. Martens Files’ reveal the following information that she’s collected about you:

  • your favourite television show: The Bachelorette
  • your most searched phrase on Google: How to seduce a Mennonite man.
  • your favourite grandparent: Grandma Unrauh
  • towns you’ve visited in the last year: Neubergthal, Altona, Blumenort South, Gretna, Gretna, Altona, Neubergthal, Vankla, Morden, Gretna, Rosetown, Vanapag, Altona, Grand Forks, Gretna
  • your annual tithe to the Reinland EMC church: $1153.72
  • your preferred time to visit Chicken Chef: 7:18 AM on Thursdays
  • your most frequent Google Images search: Hot Mennonite women without their bonnets
  • your favourite Bible verse: 2 Corinthians 12:20: “For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder.”
  • your favourite Armin Wiebe book: Murder in Gutenthal
  • your favourite musical artist: Engelbert Humperdinck
  • most visited website:
  • how much money you spent on eBay last month: $783.15 (and all of it on quilting patterns)
  • which of your grandchildren are living in sin: Colin, Melissa, Samantha, and Deitrich
  • how you voted in the last election: Conservative, though you do find Justin Trudeau pretty dreamy
  • how much time you spend online: six and a half hours a day
  • how much time you spend on devotions: six and a half minutes a day
  • how often you go to aquacise: oba, not as often as you should
  • your most frequently used Plaudietsch swear word: Dietschlaunt!
  • your favourite Johnny Cash song: 25 Minutes to Go.
  • the last time you had meddachschlop with Henry: May 3, 1991.
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