The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About The Unger Review
  • Andrew Unger

excommunication

Unger the Influence

Congress Hire Mennonites to Shun George Santos

December 2, 2023 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC After voting to expel corrupt House Representative George Santos this week, Congress has recruited a few folks who were experts in using social rejection as a form of punishment – Mennonites. “We don’t […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather in Goshen to Decide which Writer to Excommunicate Next

September 30, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN While scholars and writers gather at Goshen College this weekend for the 2022 Mennonite/s Writing Conference, another gathering is taking place across the city with an entirely different purpose. “Mennonite writers are the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ex-Mennonite Accidentally Leans Over Onto the Non-Shunned Table

April 18, 2021 Andrew

GRUENBACH, MB Peter Barkman, 41, left the church decades ago and found himself at a Barkman gathering this weekend where he was placed at the heathen table, which was right next to the other table […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Minister Excommunicates Entire Congregation

October 7, 2020 Andrew

NUMIDIA, PA Minister Miller of West Side Numidia Mennonite Church has been excommunicating an errant couple every week for the past three years and just this Sunday he realized that he was the only one […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Excommunicated After Washing Grandma’s Cast-Iron Skillet

September 8, 2020 Andrew

PLUM COULEE, MB Local man Albert Janz, 31, has been stripped off his church membership this week after committed the most heinous sin possible – washing a Mennonite Grandma’s cast-iron skillet. “I was just helping […]

Posts pagination

1 2 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Runner Turns Map Into Giant Dancing Dill Pickle
    December 9, 2024
  • Mennonite Man Launches New Streaming Service Called “Schputify”
    September 28, 2022
  • Mennonite-Grown Pumpkins Must Be Used For Pie Not Jack O’Lanterns
    October 12, 2024
  • Mennonite Women Star in Hit New Series ‘The Real Housewives of Holmes County’
    January 4, 2019
  • Liquor Store Undergoes Expansion; Now the Largest Church in Town
    March 10, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2025 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved