Church Accountability Group Keeps Men From Saying Stupid Stuff on the Internet


A new measure at the local Mennonite church seeks to address every man’s secret temptation: saying stupid stuff on the Internet. The program, which places men in accountability partnerships, encourages local men to “keep their ignorant views to themselves” and “not to comment without reading the article first.”

“Since the dawn of the Internet, we’ve seen a real surge in men making stupid comments online and it affects church-going men just as much as the rest of society,” said Pastor Dan, who spearheaded the initiative. “Our goal is that by keeping each other accountable we can prevent the spread of ignorance.”

Accountability partners meet weekly at local coffee shops to discuss the struggles of the past week.

“I almost shared a meme about Justin Trudeau without verifying the facts first,” said Steve to his accountability partner Jeremy. “Thankfully I remembered what Dan said last Sunday, ‘Think before you post!'”

Jeremy responded by telling Steve about an afternoon temptation when he almost got into an argument with “some stupid SJW” in the comment section below a Jordan Peterson video.

“I was really fired up and ready to fight,” said Jeremy. “But then I paused for a moment to reflect on whether I was really educated enough on the topic in order to speak. I realized I wasn’t, so I just kept my mouth shut.”

Early results suggest that men who were in accountability partnerships posted an average of just eighty ignorant comments a week versus the usual two or three hundred.

"Hymn 606 is Over-rated," Declares Mennonite Hipster
"Because it's 2019," Trudeau Says as He Ejects Women from Caucus