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Unger Games

The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Aggie Caught Flipping Two Cards at a Time Instead of Three

January 6, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Cousin Aganetha has been barred from ever attending another Sunday afternoon Dutch Blitz match after it was discovered she had been flipping over just two cards at a time from the “Wood Pile” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Attends His First Vanapag Jats Game

December 8, 2018 Andrew

VANAPAG, MB Local man, Abraham Krahn of North Kildonan, was thrilled to get some free tickets to see his favourite hockey team the Vanapag Jats in action last night against the St. Louis Blues. “Its […]

Unger Games

Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa

November 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Calgary has spoken. They do not want to host the 2026 quadrennial winter Faspa. In a plebiscite this week, Calgary voted overwhelmingly in favour of just ordering in Chinese food on that Sunday […]

The Daily Bonnet

Introducing Every Mennonite’s New Favourite Winter Pastime: Strip Knipsbrat

November 9, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Young married couples in small towns all around the Saskatoon region have grown tired of the same old crokinole games on Saturday nights and have decided to add their own twist known as […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Hockey Fans Yell ‘True North’ During Hymn Sing

October 10, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB As the Winnipeg Jets played their home opener last night, Mennonite hockey fans across the province are excited for the upcoming season. Some were so excited that they spontaneously yelled “True North” in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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