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Unger Suspicion

Unger Games

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

Unger Suspicion

World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments

August 24, 2019 Andrew

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND A new study from the World Health Organization has revealed a new number one killer around the world: reading online comments. In 2018 alone, comment-reading was known to have caused more than two […]

Unger Suspicion

Mysterious Mennonite Man to Start for Green Bay Packers in Winnipeg Thursday

August 21, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Peter Wiebe’s cousin Kjnels from Swift Current Colony, Mexico will be starting for the Green Bay Packers as they face the Oakland Raiders in an exhibition match in Winnipeg Thursday night. “I can’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Flock to Bob Ross Exhibit

August 18, 2019 Andrew

HENDERSON, NE More than a thousand Friesens and Penners flocked to an exhibit in Omaha this week by their very favourite painter Bob Ross. “Forget Picasso and Van Gogh. Bob Ross is the man for […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau to Teach Ethics Class at Local Community College this Fall

August 14, 2019 Andrew

ST. CATHARINES, ON Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has just been hired to a teach a 3 credit hour Ethics course at a local community college this fall. “It’s a historical survey of ethics from […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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