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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Lotto 6/49 Rewards Local Man with a Truck Load of Toilet Paper

March 14, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It was the biggest payout in Lotto 6/49 history last night as local man Mr. Thiessen won an entire truck load of toilet paper. “When I saw they were giving out not one, […]

Unger Games

XFL to Play in Front of Empty Stadiums Just Like Normal

March 12, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA It’s business as usual for the only sports league left playing these days, the XFL. As per usual, the league will play in near empty 60,000 seat stadiums for the remainder of the […]

Unger Suspicion

Bieber Debuts Terrible New Single “Yummy” at the Most Appropriate Venue – His Local Hillsong Church

March 7, 2020 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY After proudly recording what is probably the worst song in pop music history, Justin Bieber, sporting a pink hoodie and neck tattoos, decided the most appropriate place to debut “Yummy” was at […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift is Unrecognizable in Music Video for ‘The Menno’

February 28, 2020 Andrew

READING, PA Taylor Swift’s small town Pennsylvania roots are finally on display in her new music video ‘The Menno’, which features the 30-year-old pop sensation, through a combination of Hollywood makeup and cutting edge CGI, […]

Unger Suspicion

Joel Osteen Releases New ‘Red Letter Edition’ of His Latest Book

February 24, 2020 Andrew

GRAND RAPIDS, MI In many Bibles, red letters denote the words of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. Now, however, they’ll be used to denote the words of inexplicably popular Texas preacher Joel Osteen, who has decided to […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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