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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

The Top Ten Best Pandemic Pick-Up Lines

May 5, 2020 Andrew

The pandemic is certainly making things more difficult, romance-wise. I think we’re all grateful we won’t have to attend any weddings this summer, but it would be nice to at least know there are some […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Gun Enthusiasts Relieved that Covid-19s Were Left Off Trudeau’s List

May 2, 2020 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON There was one noticeable item missing from Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s list of more than 1500 banned weapons, that being the highly dangerous Covid-19. “Darn it all. I told Freeland to check […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Birds Blissfully Unaware of Global Pandemic

April 18, 2020 Andrew

SPRINGSTEIN, MB More than a dozen robins and two crows congregated on Mrs. Loewen’s yard this week, seemingly blissfully unaware that anything unusual was going on. “I mean I guess Mrs. Loewen’s lawn looks a […]

Unger Games

New ‘Chief Medical Officer’ Trading Cards are Flying Off the Shelves

April 16, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB With no sports to watch at the moment, the provincial Chief Medical Officers have become the nation’s new idols, with children and adults alike enthusiastically following their every move. One local company has […]

Unger Suspicion

In Trying Times, Americans Always Put Forward Their Very Brightest and Best

April 8, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In these dark and challenging times the American people have scoured the nation to find the very best two possible candidates to lead the country through this difficult period. “Normally we just pick […]

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