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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Forecast Calls for Nothing but Fog this Autumn

October 5, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Environment Canada is predicting fog to strike about 30 to 40 % of the adult population this season, unless you wear contacts or have one of those fancy face masks with the pinched […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Schitt’s Creek’ Rebranded as ‘Schmidt’s Creek’ for Sensitive Southern Manitoba Market

October 2, 2020 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Emmy-winning and wildly popular Canadian sitcom Schitt’s Creek has been rebranded Schmidt’s Creek in the southern Manitoba market. “Oba, waut de schissjat is this yet!” said Mr. Klassen flipping through the channels. “A […]

Unger Suspicion

Google Searches for “How to Become Amish” Surge During Presidential Debate

October 1, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH Aghast at the dismal prospects for life in mainstream American society, millions of Americans are apparently considering joining the Amish. “During the debate we saw a huge surge in ‘how to move […]

Unger Conviction

Chris Wallace to Moderate Upcoming Mennonite Church Board Meeting

September 30, 2020 Andrew

AKRON, PA After a stellar performance at the Presidential debate in which he always had things under complete control, Fox News anchor Chris Wallace has been tasked with his biggest challenge yet: moderating an upcoming […]

Unger Suspicion

Farmer’s Almanac Predicting Winter to Follow Autumn this Year

September 23, 2020 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN In its boldest seasonal projection yet, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting that autumn 2020 will be followed swiftly by winter 2020, which will carry over into early 2021 and be followed by […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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