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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Keeps On Asking Questions He Easily Could’ve Googled

June 28, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Klassen set a record today by posting more than thirty times on the local Oba Jo Steinbach page. His posts, however, were made up entirely of things he could’ve easily Googled. “What […]

Unger Suspicion

Vancouver Heat Wave Blamed On Hot Air From Abbotsford

June 27, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC As blistering temperatures rock the West Coast, Vancouverites are desperate to find a plausible explanation for this abnormal heat wave. It seems like they’ve finally discovered the source. “The hot air is believed […]

Unger Suspicion

Outrage in Winnipeg as Bell MTS Place Becomes Latest Victim of “Cancel Culture”

June 16, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Workers changed all the signs at Winnipeg’s downtown hockey arena last night to Canada Life Place as the Bell MTS sponsorship expired. “I was worried about the angry mobs,” said Darren Giesbrecht, who […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians

June 15, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Dueck, 37 of Seminole, Texas is being granted the Presidential Medal of Freedom this week for becoming the sole American survivor of the Kardashian years. “He is a beacon of hope in […]

Unger Games

Edmonton Elks to Face the Calgary Grammar Police in Season Opener

June 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB The Edmonton Elks will face the Calgary Grammar Police in the CFL season opener on August 6 at Commonwealth Stadium. “It’ll be a battle for the ages as the Calgary Grammar Police will […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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