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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Area Man to Play Just One More Game of Tetris

August 5, 2021 Andrew

OMAHA, NE Local man Earl Bergmann, 47, of Omaha has been playing “just one more game of Tetris” since he got that Nintendo Entertainment System during Christmas 1989. “Just one more game, Mom, just one […]

Unger Suspicion

Alberta Man Deported for Failing to Drive an F150

August 4, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Dan Klassen, 32, of La Crete, Alberta has been given 24 hours to vacate the province and “move to Quebec or someplace” after being spotted driving a Nissan Titan to the job […]

Unger Suspicion

“That’s a personal question”: Area Politician Remains Silent on Science and Logic

August 2, 2021 Andrew

ONNWEEHTENHEIT, MB While many politicians, from all political stripes, have publicly come out in favour of science and logic, a few are refusing to answer the question, saying that “my family’s personal stance on these […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Cover Band Plays Classic Stones Tune ‘I Know It’s Only Rock and Roll (But I Don’t Like It)’

July 31, 2021 Andrew

WICHITA, KS The Funk brothers of Wichita have been railing against rock and roll ever since that fateful youth group record burning party in the summer of 1972. “Which is why we decided to start […]

Unger Games

International Olympic Committee Requires All Athletes to Wear One of those Borat Mankinis

July 29, 2021 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN The lechers in charge of the International Olympic Committee are requiring all athletes, regardless of gender or sport, to wear one of those Borat mankinis or else face massive fines. “You wear what […]

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