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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Totally Ruins Concert By Singing Along

June 8, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Elbert Unrau, 58, of the Steinbach area nearly started a riot at the James Taylor concert on Friday by singing along loudly with every song. All 7,000 people in attendance at the MTS Centre […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Man Declares Himself ‘Greater Than Muhammad Ali’

June 4, 2016 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Just hours after he discovered that legendary boxer Muhammad Ali had passed away, insensitive Rosenort resident Cornelius Clausen, 71, has taken to social media to declare himself “the greatest man who ever lived.” […]

Unger Suspicion

Bob Dylan Set to Release “Even Slower Train Coming” Album

June 1, 2016 Andrew

MALIBU, CA After turning 75 this week, legendary folk-rock artist Bob Dylan has decided to go back into the studio and remix some of his classic albums so they will appeal more to people his own age…and […]

Unger Suspicion

Chewbacca Gets a Kick Out of New “Mom” Mask

May 25, 2016 Andrew

KASHYYYK, SOUTHWESTERN QUADRANT Wookie pilot and social media addict, Chewbacca, just loves his new “Mom” mask. “I picked it up at Wal-Mart,” says Chewbacca through a translator. “It’s awesome. It talks and everything.” A video […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Elected President of Ecuador

May 24, 2016 Andrew

QUITO, ECUADOR Local Good Samaritan Mark Reimer will be sworn in as President of Ecuador in a ceremony to take place this July in the small fishing village of Puerto Lopez. “I’m working on my Spanish,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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