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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Mennonites Pay Tribute to the Tragically Hip

August 21, 2016 Andrew

KINGSTON, ON After the Tragically Hip played their final concert ever last night in Kingston, Ontario, millions of Canadians, including Mennonites, paid tribute to the iconic Canadian band. “I’ve never clapped before in my life…but […]

Unger Games

Olympic Fans Have One Last Chance to Cheer Against the USA Today

August 21, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL As the 2016 Rio Games come to a close, fans from across the world will have one last chance today to cheer against Team USA. “It’s really going to be tough […]

Unger & Thirst

Pharaoh’s Heart Hardened by Cracklings

August 20, 2016 Andrew

THEBES, EGYPT Despite considerable urging from Israelite leader Moses, the Pharaoh mentioned in the Book of Exodus refused to let the Israelites go because his “heart was hardened.” New evidence suggests that Pharaoh’s heart condition can […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Olympic Dominance, as Explained By Dr. Freud

August 19, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL The success of Mennonite athletes at this year’s Olympic games has come as a surprise to some, but according to Dr. Heinrich Freud, great-grandson of the founder of psychoanalysis, this Mennonite dominance […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Embarks on Epic Thirty Minute Expedition to Steinbach

August 15, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Marco Polo, Thor Heyerdahl, Sir Francis Drake – these names are synonymous with exploration and adventure. Today we can add the name Alison Becker to the list, the daring young woman who, when visiting […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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