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Unger Suspicion

Unger & Thirst

Pharaoh’s Heart Hardened by Cracklings

August 20, 2016 Andrew

THEBES, EGYPT Despite considerable urging from Israelite leader Moses, the Pharaoh mentioned in the Book of Exodus refused to let the Israelites go because his “heart was hardened.” New evidence suggests that Pharaoh’s heart condition can […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Olympic Dominance, as Explained By Dr. Freud

August 19, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL The success of Mennonite athletes at this year’s Olympic games has come as a surprise to some, but according to Dr. Heinrich Freud, great-grandson of the founder of psychoanalysis, this Mennonite dominance […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Woman Embarks on Epic Thirty Minute Expedition to Steinbach

August 15, 2016 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Marco Polo, Thor Heyerdahl, Sir Francis Drake – these names are synonymous with exploration and adventure. Today we can add the name Alison Becker to the list, the daring young woman who, when visiting […]

Unger Suspicion

New Survey Suggests 8 out of 10 People Cannot Identify the Man in the Rio Statue

August 14, 2016 Andrew

RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL A recent New York Times survey on cultural literacy suggests that the vast majority of people have ‘no freakin’ clue’ who sits atop Corcovado Mountain in Rio de Janeiro. The survey showed […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Trudeau Confuses Yerba Mate for Marijuana

August 12, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB On a recent visit to the small Mennonite city of Steinbach, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who was elected last fall on a promise to legalize marijuana, mistook a yerba mate gourd offered to him […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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