LANCASTER, PA In reaction to the recent increase of people being nice and friendly and sticking to the rules, the predominantly Amish city of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, has decided to elect dystopian author George Orwell as […]
STEINBACH, MB For decades rural Manitoba movie theatres had trouble convincing more conservative elements of the population that attending movies was not actually explicitly forbidden in the Scriptures. Ever since the invention of moving pictures in […]
TORONTO, ON Businessman and television personality Kevin O’Leary has taken time out of his busy schedule of helping young entrepreneurs make a “shit ton of moolah” to give some advice to Mennonites across the country. “It’s […]
MONTREAL, PQ In a tribute to one of the world’s great songwriters, the Mennonite Church has decided to add Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ to the hymnal, saying that it is “as beautiful and sacred as anything that’s […]
PARIS, TX In a potentially historic election, American voters will head to the polls today to select the new Lesser Evil of the United States. “I’m confused,” said local rancher and undecided voter Dwight Owens, 37, of […]
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