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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Massive Concrete Wall Divides Kitchener and Waterloo

September 19, 2017 Andrew

KITCHENER-WATERLOO, ON Residents of Kitchener-Waterloo were shocked to discover a four-metre concrete wall dividing the twin cities when they woke up this morning. The ‘Kitchener-Waterloo Wall,’ which stretches for miles between the two cities and […]

Unger Suspicion

Hundreds of Illegal Migrants Cross Canadian Border on Segways

September 19, 2017 Andrew

CORNWALL, ON According to reliable reports, border towns across Canada have been facing a mass influx of Segway drivers in recent months. As a result, concerned citizens are calling on the Canadian Prime Minister to […]

Unger Suspicion

Hutterite Colony Selected as New Amazon Headquarters

September 15, 2017 Andrew

RIDGE STREAM COLONY, AB After months of meticulous research, Amazon has made it’s decision. The online shopping giant announced today that their new headquarters will be set up on a small Hutterite colony in southern […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Claims to be Illegitimate Son of Prince Charles, Rightful Heir to the Throne

September 12, 2017 Andrew

LONDON, UK In an historic trial that could change the landscape of the British monarchy, the Supreme Court of England is set to rule this week on whether a 46-year-old Mennonite farmer from rural Manitoba […]

Unger Games

NFL Team to Hold ‘Conscientious Objector Appreciation Day’

September 8, 2017 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA After decades of going out of their way to associate American football with the United States military, one NFL team has decided to buck that trend and honour Conscientious Objectors, including members of Mennonites, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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