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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Rare Patch of Smooth Road Discovered in Winnipeg

March 28, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Thiessen of North Kildonan was utterly shocked to discover a short patch of completely smooth road in Winnipeg during a visit to the Linden Woods neighbourhood this weekend. “What the hell is […]

Unger Suspicion

A Do-it-Yourselfers Guide to Selecting and Constructing the Perfect Border Wall

March 22, 2018 Andrew

Spring is the perfect time to think about upcoming projects around the house. Whether it’s restaining the deck or sweeping out the garage, I’m sure your list is pretty long. But there’s one item that […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Man Manages to Keep Windshield Clean for a Record Five Minutes

March 17, 2018 Andrew

GIMLI, MB Local man Olaf Einarrson, 47, of Gimli, managed to keep the windshield of his Honda Odyssey relatively clean for almost a full five minutes this morning. Although not officially confirmed, many are saying […]

Unger Suspicion

Judge Sentences Katy Perry to Kiss 100 Random Mennonite Dudes

March 16, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA After kissing a disinterested young man on American Idol this week, pop star Katy Perry has been sentenced to make out with 100 hairy Mennonite guys in suspenders and dirty rubber boots. “It […]

Unger Suspicion

A List of Things Erroneously Blamed on Violent Video Games

March 13, 2018 Andrew

Even though there is absolutely no evidence to back up these claims, politicians across the United States have been clamouring to blame violent video games on the increasing violent behaviour in American society. It’s a […]

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