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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Don Cherry Says Suit is Inspired By Mennonite Floor Patterns

May 31, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON CBC broadcasting legend Don Cherry is known for his loud clothing, but throughout the playoffs he has been sporting “suits inspired by Mennonite floor patterns.” “I’ve been to Neubergthal and the museum there […]

Unger Suspicion

Jordan Peterson Refuses to Use God’s Preferred Pronouns

May 30, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Controversial University of Toronto professor Jordan Peterson has been become infamous in his efforts to battle so-called “political correctness,” and has resolutely refused to use the preferred pronouns of many individuals, including, apparently, […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Shun Patrik Laine For Shaving Off His Beard

May 28, 2018 Andrew

TAMPERE, FINLAND After a playoff run that ended in disaster against the Vegas Knights, Winnipeg Jets superstar Patrik Laine has left the Mennonite faith and decided to shave off his beard and toss his suspenders […]

Unger Suspicion

Heintje to Perform at Faspa this Sunday

May 24, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After repeated requests from his Mennonite fans in southern Manitoba, Dutch recording star Heintje is set to perform at faspa this Sunday. Mrs. Bueckert, chairperson of the Altona Heintje Appreciation Society, was especially […]

Unger Suspicion

ABC Launches New Sitcom ‘Morden Family’

May 22, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Television executives at ABC just announced a new cutting edge sitcom entitled ‘Morden Family,’ which explores the lives of several Mennonite families in Morden, Manitoba learning their place in an ever changing world. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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