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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Hockey Fan Emerges from House for the First Time in Many Months

May 21, 2018 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Local hockey fan Peter Klassen, 48, left his house for very first time in months, after the Winnipeg Jets lost to the Vegas Golden Nights on Sunday afternoon. “Ach, the light, the bright […]

Unger Suspicion

Bettman Throws Massive Street Party to Celebrate Last Canadian Team Being Eliminated from Playoffs

May 20, 2018 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY There was champagne flowing at NHL headquarters in New York City today, as long time NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman spared no expense in celebrating the fact that, once again, only American teams […]

Unger Suspicion

Carrie Underwood Spotted Busking for Spare Change Outside Winnipeg Jets Arena

May 14, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Barefoot Nashville Predators  Vegas Knights fan Carrie Underwood was spotted busking for spare change outside the Winnipeg Jets street party on Saturday. After a devastating loss by her husband’s team, the grumpy country […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning

May 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Jets advanced to the Conference finals for the first time in history, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba showed up to work this morning. “There seems […]

Unger Games

What Every Mennonite Parent Needs to Know About ‘Fortnite’

May 10, 2018 Andrew

BY: JAKOB B. FRIESEN, CONCERNED PARENT Oba, yo! So all my children are playing this game on the television. I think it’s called ‘Fortnites’. Well, we had a meeting about it with the elders and, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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