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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Selfie-Taking City Woman Eaten By Giant Mutant Venus Sunflower Plant

August 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB This summer thousands of city people have been flocking to the countryside to trample on farmer’s fields and take their stupid selfies with sunflower plants. Now it seems, the plants are beginning to […]

Unger Suspicion

Millions of Homeless Canadian Refugees Flock to US Border After Heatwave Melts Igloos

August 4, 2018 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After temperatures soared to five or ten degrees above freezing this August, igloos have melted across Canada, leaving desperate parka-clad Canadians with no choice but to descend on the United States in large […]

Unger Suspicion

Discovery Channel’s Documentary on ‘Pacifist Sharks’ is ‘Most Boring’ Program Ever Aired During Shark Week

July 28, 2018 Andrew

MIAMI, FL The Discovery Channel’s annual ‘Shark Week’ usually features numerous fascinating documentaries about the underwater killing machines, full of exciting decapitations and mutilations that keep audiences on the edge of their seats. This year, […]

Unger Suspicion

Hutterite Woman Rollerblades Her Way Into Mennonite Man’s Heart

July 19, 2018 Andrew

FRIENDLY ROAD COLONY, AB Miss Rebecca Kleinsasser of Friendly Road Colony caught the attention of bachelor Peter Wiebe at the Dairy Queen in Taber this week. Wiebe was particularly enamoured by Kleinsasser’s pink rollerblades and ability […]

Unger Suspicion

Pair of Reimers Go Door-to-Door in Salt Lake City

July 13, 2018 Andrew

SALT LAKE CITY, UT A couple of Reimers from Friesenschanzenfeld have decided to leave the farm behind and go door-to-door in Salt Lake City this summer. “We’re hoping to recruit as many Mormons as possible,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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