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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Elderly Mennonite Woman is Lone Surviving Member of ‘Sutera Twins Fan Club’

December 3, 2018 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Local woman, Mrs. Loewen, has been a self-described “huge fan” of evangelist brothers The Sutera Twins ever since they held meetings in the Steinbach Tabernacle many decades ago. “Oba, yo, I drove in […]

Unger Suspicion

Spoiler Alert: Simba is Pacifist in New ‘Lion King’ Remake

November 28, 2018 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA In an effort to clean up the violent image of the previous film, the good folks at Disney have made a refreshing change to the new Lion King movie. Instead of defeating the […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Woman Turns to Pillar of Salt After Failing to Apply Adequate Levels of Moisturizer

November 23, 2018 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Emergency crews were called to a scene in Kitchener today where Alice Goossen, 43, was discovered to have completely dried out and turned into a pillar of salt after failing to apply adequate […]

Unger Suspicion

Blue Bombers Proudly Hoist ‘Sunday School Attendance’ Trophy

November 18, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a loss to the Calgary Stampeders this afternoon, the Winnipeg Blue Bomber season has come to an end yet again, and yet again this year, the club is excited to have achieved […]

Unger Suspicion

Florida Hires Expert to Help with Election Recount

November 16, 2018 Andrew

TALLAHASSEE, FL Seemingly unable to ever get through an election without some sort of foul up, the State of Florida has hired the purple counting guy from Sesame Street to help with the recount. “We’ve […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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