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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Minor Hockey Team Loses Miserably After Forgetting to Play ‘We Will Rock You’

February 23, 2019 Andrew

KENORA, ON A minor hockey team in Kenora is in tears tonight after the sound guy at the arena forgot to play “We Will Rock You” as the team entered the ice. The team subsequently […]

Unger Suspicion

Family in Totally Perfect Photo Actually Really Messed Up

February 21, 2019 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC Despite what it appears in their Facebook photos, the H________ family of Chilliwack is so dysfunctional that they’ve only agreed to be interviewed if we protect their identity. “Yeah, you want to know […]

Unger Suspicion

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez a Big Hit on Hutterite Colony

February 18, 2019 Andrew

WOKE RIVER COLONY, SD A young Hutterite woman at Woke River Colony in South Dakota had some explaining to do after dozens of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posters were found prominently displayed on her bedroom walls this […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Woman Challenges Marie Kondo to Cleaning Competition

February 17, 2019 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN Mrs. Toews, a Holdeman Mennonite from Newton, Kansas believes that Marie Kondo is no match for her cleaning and organizing skills, and has challenged the Japanese cleaning guru to a “good old fashioned […]

Unger Suspicion

New Biopic Reveals Freddie Mercury’s ‘Secret Wild Mennonite Life’

February 16, 2019 Andrew

LONDON, UK A popular new biopic, Blumenort Rhapsody, reveals a side of Freddie Mercury’s life that has remained untold until now. From 1978-1982, the Queen singer secretly lived among the Mennonites of southern Manitoba. “At the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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