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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Philippines to Canada: “We Don’t Want Your Trash!”

May 29, 2019 Andrew

MANILA, PHILIPPINES In recent days, Malaysia has joined the Philippines in denouncing Canada and demanding that Justin Bieber be returned to North America. “We’re sick and tired of Canada sending us all their unwanted trash,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Phone Book Now Offered Exclusively in Large Print

May 27, 2019 Andrew

STEINWERK, MB The annual local phone book will now be available exclusively in large print. The change is seen as a way of catering to the only demographic that still actually uses phone books. “The town […]

Unger Suspicion

Menno Simons to be Featured in New XBox Game

May 24, 2019 Andrew

REDMOND, WA Anabaptist leader Menno Simons will be featured in a new XBox game aimed at getting more Mennonite teenagers to play video games. “This is the first game we’ve ever made that features absolutely no […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Catches a Walleye, Calls it a Pickerel for Some Reason

May 20, 2019 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local man Curtis Wiebe, 47, had a good day of fishing out at Whitemouth Lake this weekend, during which time he caught two Northern Pike and three Walleye, which he called “Pickerel” for […]

Unger Suspicion

King Solomon to Undergo Wisdom Tooth Surgery

May 13, 2019 Andrew

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL King Solomon of Israel is undergoing wisdom tooth surgery this week after a dentist told him “they’re basically useless and your mouth is too crowded as it is.” Solomon claims he was reluctant […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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