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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Becomes Instant Millionaire After Sales Tax Drops By One Percent

March 9, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, Mr. Klassen, of North Kildonan is eagerly anticipating the reduction of the Provincial Sales Tax from eight to seven percent this summer. The change will mean such a huge boost in […]

Unger Suspicion

One Million Manitobans Trapped in their Driveways Due to Obstructed Views

March 6, 2019 Andrew

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB More than a million Manitobans have been trapped at the edge of their driveways this winter unable to see clearly enough beyond the huge mounds of piled up snow. “I’ve been […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Shopping for New Cabinet at IKEA

March 5, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After losing several key components of his federal cabinet this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was spotted at a local IKEA store looking for a new one. “Ooooh, this Havsta line looks great,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Sunday School Kids to Open for Barack Obama

March 4, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The annual Bible memorization competition will take a larger stage this year after former President Barack Obama invited the little tykes to be the opening act for his performance tonight in Winnipeg. “I’m […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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