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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Granola Shortage Creates Panic in Wolseley

March 20, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A massive granola shortage this spring has residents of the Winnipeg neighbourhood of Wolseley in quite the panic. Desperate residents met at an area United church to discuss the shortage. “Went to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Man Becomes Instant Millionaire After Sales Tax Drops By One Percent

March 9, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local man, Mr. Klassen, of North Kildonan is eagerly anticipating the reduction of the Provincial Sales Tax from eight to seven percent this summer. The change will mean such a huge boost in […]

Unger Suspicion

One Million Manitobans Trapped in their Driveways Due to Obstructed Views

March 6, 2019 Andrew

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB More than a million Manitobans have been trapped at the edge of their driveways this winter unable to see clearly enough beyond the huge mounds of piled up snow. “I’ve been […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Shopping for New Cabinet at IKEA

March 5, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON After losing several key components of his federal cabinet this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was spotted at a local IKEA store looking for a new one. “Ooooh, this Havsta line looks great,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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