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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Menno Simons to be Featured in New XBox Game

May 24, 2019 Andrew

REDMOND, WA Anabaptist leader Menno Simons will be featured in a new XBox game aimed at getting more Mennonite teenagers to play video games. “This is the first game we’ve ever made that features absolutely no […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Man Catches a Walleye, Calls it a Pickerel for Some Reason

May 20, 2019 Andrew

WHITEMOUTH, MB Local man Curtis Wiebe, 47, had a good day of fishing out at Whitemouth Lake this weekend, during which time he caught two Northern Pike and three Walleye, which he called “Pickerel” for […]

Unger Suspicion

King Solomon to Undergo Wisdom Tooth Surgery

May 13, 2019 Andrew

JERUSALEM, ISRAEL King Solomon of Israel is undergoing wisdom tooth surgery this week after a dentist told him “they’re basically useless and your mouth is too crowded as it is.” Solomon claims he was reluctant […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company

May 8, 2019 Andrew

PANSY, MB Local woman Mrs. Goerzen passed away this week after a long and courageous battle to change her data package with her service provider. Goerzen was reportedly on hold with the company since early […]

Unger Suspicion

Sad Lonely Canadian Man Still Watching Hockey for Some Reason

May 1, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Darrel Schmidt, 41, of Toronto is still “really into” the NHL playoffs despite the fact that any real reason to follow hockey ended sometime last week. “After the Maple Leafs are out and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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