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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

New Olympic-size Swimming Pool Opens in Winnipeg

April 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A regulation Olympic-size swimming pool, complete with diving board, and a 24/7 on-duty lifeguard has opened up in the middle of a busy street in Winnipeg this week. “We’re really excited about this […]

Unger Suspicion

Lineup for Women’s Washroom Stretches 10 Miles

April 12, 2023 Andrew

CALGARY, AB The lineup for the women’s washroom after church this Sunday stretched more than 10 miles south and caused a traffic jam on Macleod Trail in Calgary. “Diewel, that’s a long line,” said Mrs. […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Destitute’ Galen Weston to Subsist Entirely on ‘No Name Brand’ Products

April 8, 2023 Andrew

BRAMPTON, ON Left with just barely enough income to survive in today’s economy, Loblaws CEO Galen Weston has been forced to try his own No Name Brand products for the very first time. “Yikes. I […]

Unger Suspicion

Amish Man Can’t Figure Out Why He Got This ‘Carbon Tax Relief’ Cheque

April 3, 2023 Andrew

VITA, MB Mr. Schwartzenbeilersnider of over near Vita was completely baffled this week when he stopped at the post office in town and found something called a ‘Carbon Tax Relief Fund’ cheque from the Manitoba […]

Unger Suspicion

Mickey Mouse Learns Plautdietsch to Accommodate All the Mennonites at Disney World Right Now

March 28, 2023 Andrew

ORLANDO, FL With a bevy of cheap flights sending Mennonites to Florida this week, residents of Disney World have been brushing up on their Plautdietsch, not to mention the theme park’s record-setting order of roll […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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