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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Hymn Wins Eurovision Song Contest

May 23, 2025 Andrew

BASEL, SWITZERLAND A seventeenth century German hymn popular with Mennonites has won the 2025 Eurovision song contest. “Normally, we only accept newly-written songs, but we figured this one had enough age on it that we […]

Unger Suspicion

Steinbach Eyes $10 Billion Monorail

May 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Looking for a way to speed up transportation from the MCC store downtown to the Walmart out on the highway, Steinbach residents are now seriously considering a new citywide monorail system. “It’ll stop […]

Unger Suspicion

New Trade Deal Has Torontonians Scrambling to Find Manitoba on a Map

May 15, 2025 Andrew

TORONTO, ON A few deal to lift interprovincial trade barriers between Ontario and Manitoba had millions of Torontonians scrambling for their glove compartments to see if they’ve got that old road atlas in there somewhere. […]

Unger Suspicion

Team of Industrious Amish Hired to Fix McDonald’s Ice Cream Machine

May 10, 2025 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA After millions of complaints from customers, McDonald’s has finally found a solution to the broken ice cream machine problem that has plagued their restaurants across the country – hiring the Amish. “Actually, we’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Festival to Feature New Chilliwack Cover Band Called Abbotsford

May 9, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC They’re the hottest Chilliwack cover band on the circuit and they’re heading straight for the main stage at the Fraser Valley Mennonite Brethren Festival of Music and Arts this weekend in the Clearbrook […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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