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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Mom to Post Embarrassing Birthday Greeting on Your Facebook Wall This Week

January 4, 2023 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Amanda Funk, 17, of Goshen is fully expecting her mother to post an embarrassing birthday greeting on her Facebook wall this week. “Oh my gosh, here it comes,” said Amanda. “I think she’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Blames Loss on Slightly-Raised Staple

January 2, 2023 Andrew

ROSETOWN, MB Area man Steve Kroeker, 67, of Rosetown went home really grumpy after the annual Kroeker Kjnipsdesh tournament this weekend … and all on account of a raised staple. “That’s the last time we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top Ten Daily Bonnet Articles of 2022

January 1, 2023 Andrew

Happy New Year, everyone! I think we’re all hoping 2023 will be better than last year. Still, I’m grateful for the opportunities I had last year to travel in support of my novel Once Removed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man’s Entire Sense of Self-Worth Wrapped Up in His 14-in-1 Leatherman Multi-Tool

December 30, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Even though he rarely has any reason to use it, area man Art Peters, 68, never goes anywhere without his 14-in-1 Leatherman multi-tool clipped to his belt. “It’s gotten pretty bad,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vote Now! Dutch Blitz vs. Crokinole!

December 24, 2022 Andrew

What will you be playing this Christmas? We’ve settled many Mennonite controversies around here. Jantsied vs. Ditsied, hymns vs. off-the-wall singing. Heck, we’ve even definitely solved the whole dunker vs. pourer controversy. But there is […]

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