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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Desperate to Find Some Relation to Davy Klaassen

November 23, 2022 Andrew

LOMA PLATA, PARAGUAY Moments after Dutch midfielder Davy Klaasen scored his first World Cup goal, millions of Mennonites scoured their family history books to see if maybe, just maybe, they were somehow related. “Oba, well, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Now in Charge of British Columbia

November 18, 2022 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC After having his name selected in the traditional Mennonite manner – by drawing lots – a man from Kitchener, Ontario by the name of David Eby is now Premier of British Columbia. “Well, […]

The Daily Bonnet

5 Times The Daily Bonnet Accurately Predicted the Future

November 16, 2022 Andrew

We all know about that other Mennonite satirist, Matt Groening, and his uncanny ability to predict the future on his television show The Simpsons, but did you know that The Daily Bonnet has accurately predicted […]

The Daily Bonnet

Goshen College to Open New ‘Bad Library’ Right Next to the Good Library

November 14, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN A new addition is in the works on the picturesque campus of Goshen College – the highly anticipated Bad Library. “You know for years we’ve had the Good Library, but there was no […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Communities Eager to Put a Siemens in Charge

November 12, 2022 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC (with files from WINKLER, MB) There is a growing trend in traditionally-Mennonite communities across Canada – putting a Siemens in charge. This month civic elections in both Abbotsford and Winkler sent a Siemens to […]

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