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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

A List of Every Mannanite Film Ever Nominated for Bast Picture

January 24, 2023 Andrew

BY: JAKOB PLATT, FALM AXPERT Oba, so the only movies I aver saw were at the Game and Fish Days there in Schteinback or maybe at the John Deere dealer. This makes me the most […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Puts Cousin in the “Frintschoft Zone”

January 11, 2023 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON It was sad news for Danny Dueck, 23, this week, after his second cousin, Maria Dueck, 24, informed him that he had now been relegated to the frintschoft zone. “I could tell he […]

The Daily Bonnet

Artificial Intelligence Wrote This Daily Bonnet Article (For Real)

January 9, 2023 Andrew

In yet one more way that the Internet is dead set on utterly destroying all of human civilization, artificial intelligence can now do our writing for us. Admittedly, it’s not very good at it … […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Critics Excited to Watch ‘Women Talking’ and Find All the “Errors”

January 7, 2023 Andrew

SCHAZENBACHDORF, MB Utterly obsessed with their own depiction in film and literature, a group of particularly persnickety Mennonite critics are flocking to the Schanzenbachdorf Theatre this week to look for the slightest of “errors” in […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Invade Giant Tiger for Farmer Sausage Sale

January 5, 2023 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Word of a formavorscht sale at Giant Tiger spread like wildfire on WhatsApp this week and had Mennonites camping outside the store to get a good deal. “Oba, I didn’t know Giant Tiger […]

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