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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Canadian Tire Introduces New ‘Brooks, Alberta’ Scented Air Fresheners

August 21, 2025 Andrew

BROOKS, AB A new line of air fresheners is taking the nation by storm. They’re called “Brooks, Alberta” fresheners and are offered exclusively at Co-op gas bars and Canadian Tire. “Don’t know what it smells […]

The Daily Bonnet

Adidas Introduces New Mennonite Line

August 18, 2025 Andrew

HERZOGENAUROCH, GERMANY German athletic wear company Adidas has finally responded to the growing population of Aussiedler Mennonites in the country with the introduction of a new line of long denim skirts. “You can’t really play […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Gather in Steinbach for Annual Meeting of Double Cousins

August 16, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than three thousand people packed the picnic shelter at AD Penner Park in Steinbach this weekend for the annual gathering of double first cousins. “My mom and her two sisters each married […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chappell Roan to Settle Down in Modest Swift Current Bungalow

August 14, 2025 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Pop sensation Chappell Roan is making good on her promise to move to Saskatchewan with the purchase of a lovely bungalow on Walker Street in Swift Current. “There’s a creek nearby and […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Slide into a Mennonite Woman’s DMs

August 7, 2025 Andrew

Long gone are the days when a couple might meet at a church faspa or Plett gathering. Instead, the only way to strike up a conversation with a prospective partner these days is to slide […]

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