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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

House Fails to Warm Up After Mennonite Man Puts on the Fireplace Channel

January 14, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB An unprecedented cold snap had John Goerzen of Edmonton trying everything he could to warm the house up. Unfortunately for Goerzen, putting on the fireplace channel did absolutely nothing to increase the temperature. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’

January 13, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area man Stanley Wolgemuth is capitalizing on the Stanley cup craze by creating one of his own … using only a McDonald’s paper cup, some masking tape, and a little bit of ingenuity. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis Trying to Figure Out When to Throw Out the Christmas Cards

January 11, 2024 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS It’s mid-January and that means Mrs. Brandt is beginning to think about taking down the Christmas cards from her refrigerator. “I think it’s time, but then again, I feel kind of bad. We’ve […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Launches New Program to Care for Feral Mennonites

January 9, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman, Lois Wiebe, has been caring for Mennonites her whole life. Wiebe, 37, has more than fifteen Mennonites in her house and the number keeps growing since she’s taken in a few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Unger Review Articles of 2023

January 2, 2024 Andrew

Happy 2024, everyone! 2023 was a year of change around here and I know how much Mennonites love change. Most notable for this website, of course, was the rebranding of the main page from The […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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