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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Blockbuster Building to be Preserved at Local Museum to Show what Mennonite Life was Like in the 1990s

February 24, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB An old Blockbuster Video building was carefully hoisted onto the back of a semi trailer this week before winding up at a Mennonite open air museum in Steinbach. “When our grandchildren ask about […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Rock Fans Celebrate 50 Years of ‘Jantsied of the Moon’

February 12, 2024 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Closeted Mennonite rock fans held a clandestine meeting in the back room at Topper’s Restaurant this week to commemorate 50 years of the seminal 1973 album Jantsied of the Moon by ‘Pink’ Floyd […]

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The Daily Bonnet

Thrift Store Runs Out of Speedos as Temperatures Soar this January

January 31, 2024 Andrew

RIVERTON, MB The weather has been so unseasonably warm this winter, that Mennonite men of all stripes and sizes have been stripping off their overalls and hitting the beach. “Normally I’m ice fishing this time […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Spends Entire Vacation at Timeshare Presentation

January 23, 2024 Andrew

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL The Wiebes of Altona had a lovely two week long timeshare presentation this January. “Ahh, it’s so nice to get away from Manitoba and just relax in this high pressure timeshare pitch,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Has Friesen Toews

January 21, 2024 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK After a cold snap in Rosthern, Saskatchewan, Mrs. Anita Friesen has resorted to double and even triple-socking her feet to prevent her Toews from Friesen. “My Toews Froese Fast,” said Friesen. “They were […]

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