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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Spends Romantic Date Night at Peavey Mart

April 20, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB With the kids at Oma and Opa’s house for the evening, Allan and Karen Martens were finally able to get some alone time at their local Peavey Mart. “Oh, Allan, you know what […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aritzia Introduces New Line of Long Denim Skirts for Women Wanting to Look Like They’re in Some Weird Religious Sect

April 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were lines outside Aritzia at Polo Park this week as the store launched its new line of long denim dresses and other products inspired by the plain dress sects of southern Manitoba. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tupperware Rep Finds Lucrative New Side Hustle

April 17, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local Tupperware rep Anne Barkman has seen such an uptick in demand as of late that the 30-year-old mother-of-6 has decided to expand her line of products. “I was walking through the MCC […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rumours Fly as Mennonite Man is Spotted at Jewelry Store

April 13, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Kyle Reimer, 23, was spotted at a local jewelry store this week, which sparked several rumours about an upcoming engagement. “Oba, I didn’t even know he was dating anyone,” said Mrs. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couples Compete to Have the Most Grandchildren

April 11, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB It’s a race to the top for the Buhlers and Wiebes this week in the annual Grandchildren Sweepstakes. The top prize, which goes to the couple with the most grandchildren, is a weeklong […]

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