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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Tourists Flock to Steinbach’s Newest Attraction: The Famous Main and Brandt Potholes

March 30, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Millions of tourists have gathered in Steinbach, Manitoba this week to stand in awe at the massive Main and Brandt potholes that have sprung up this spring. “They’re truly a wonder to behold,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wins Nobel Peace Prize for Remembering to Lift the Toilet Seat

March 29, 2024 Andrew

REINFELD, MB Devoted husband and father of four, Bert Harder, 51, just received word this week that he has won the Nobel Peace Prize for being the first Mennonite man to lift the toilet seat. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Relieved to be Going Back to Celebrating Men for the Next 364 Days

March 9, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After a full 24 hours of celebrating the contributions of various women in his life, Mr. Doerksen of La Crete is relieved to be going back to normal life and celebrating men […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Drives 40 Minutes Out of Her Way to Go to the “Good” Thrift Store

March 8, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Despite protests from her husband who just didn’t understand, area woman Erin Stobbe drove nearly an hour from her inferior local thrift store to go to the “good one” in Altona. “Oba, my […]

The Daily Bonnet

Royal Watchers Accidentally Show Up at William Prince Concert

March 5, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The last time retired couple Tina and Jake Neufeld of Steinbach encountered royalty was more than fifty years ago when the Queen paid a visit to their hometown of Steinbach. Now in their […]

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