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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man to Circle the Earth For Next Two Months, Causing Mini-moon

October 1, 2024 Andrew

EARTH A Mennonite man will be circling the Earth for the next two months, causing what scientists are calling a “mini-moon.” “It’s not as large as the moon we usually see,” said Neil DeGrasse Tyson, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Plautdietsch Immersion School Opens This Fall

September 20, 2024 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There was a time when Mennonite children had their mouths washed out with soap anytime they uttered a hearty “waut es met die?” on the schoolyard. Things have changed, however, and now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Opens ‘Noah’s Ark Encounter’ in His Basement

September 17, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Pete Brandt has made the best of his basement flooding situation, by tossing a couple plastic giraffes down there and charging admission. “Yeah, so now that the basement living room is […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Luckiest Mennonite Woman Scores ‘George’ and ‘Joe Fresh’ Blouses at Local Thrift Store

September 15, 2024 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Carol Ens could not believe her luck this week at the local thrift store after she discovered several “name brand” blouses on the rack. “Would you look at that! George brand! […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Finally Have their Own Section at the Bookstore

September 12, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A prominent sign has been installed at Winnipeg’s favourite bookstore McNally Robinson that points costumers to the bargain section. “Finally a section for us Mennonites,” said book lover Erin Neufeld. “Got to get […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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