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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Lonely Planet Releases 600-page Guide to Blumenort

October 19, 2016 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Just in time for the winter tourist season when snowbirds flock to Blumenort to bask in the sunshine and nearby gravel pits, Lonely Planet has released an extensive guide book to the small […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Claims Annual Quilt Auction is ‘Rigged’

October 19, 2016 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After failing to get the winning bid at the last five church quilt auctions, Mrs. Donna Toews, 71, of Altona is now claiming that the whole system is rigged. “I’ve got evidence – I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Bible Study Turns Into Multi-Level Marketing Pitch

October 19, 2016 Andrew

GROSSWEIDE, MB After a quick reading of Psalms 23 and a ten second opportunity for “prayer requests,” Bible study leader Phillip Broesky managed to transform the meeting into a multi-level marketing pitch. “I was kind […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Going Out of Business’ Sale Attracts Thousands of First Time Customers

October 18, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB First-time customers arrived in droves this weekend to check out Dueck Hardware’s going-out-of-business sale. The hardware store, started on Main Street in 1973 by Mr. Peter V. Dueck, has served the community for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Poll: Vote Now to Decide the Name of Steinbach’s Newest Park!

October 14, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Steinbach recreation committee is asking residents to select the name for a giant new park to be built next spring in the centre of town. After receiving nominations from people throughout Steinbach, the […]

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