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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Ventures Into Osborne Village

April 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Petey and Aganetha Hiebert of Altona, Manitoba found themselves in the “den of iniquity” after a GPS error led them to the Osborne Village neighbourhood of Winnipeg. “Oba, nay! Would you look at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Try Your Hand at Mennonite Mad Libs!

April 6, 2017 Andrew

For decades, children have entertained themselves on long road trips by filling in the blanks on the popular Mad Libs sheets. For your endless amusement, here is a Mennonite Mad Lib-style game. Instructions: Print off […]

The Daily Bonnet

Missing CMU Student Discovered Beneath a Mountain of Hauerwas Books

April 4, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After an extensive nationwide search, CMU Theology student Brian Schmidt was discovered unconscious this past Friday in his dorm room beneath an enormous pile of Stanley Hauerwas books. “Brian’s recovering at the local hospital,” said his […]

The Daily Bonnet

’25 Minutes to Steinbach’ Sign Fails to Withstand Scientific Testing

April 3, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB For decades a sign just outside of Winnipeg on Highway 1 informed drivers that they were just “25 minutes” from Steinbach, the Automobile City. However, rigorous scientific research has proven that the 25 minute estimate […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Tell if a Mennonite is Flirting With You

April 2, 2017 Andrew

As a young Mennonite man I always had trouble figuring out whether Annie or Martha or Bertha was actually interested in me. Just ask my friend Johan. I used to spend hours pestering him with […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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