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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Clearbrook Votes to Secede from Abbotsford

February 7, 2017 Andrew

CLEARBROOK, BC After a long and divisive campaign that dominated headlines across Canada, the Mennonite churches of Clearbrook, British Columbia have voted overwhelmingly in favour of seceding from the City of Abbotsford. “We’re sick and […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Schekjbenjels of Winkler’ Calendar Becomes Hot Seller

February 6, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB United Schekjbenjels and Gofers Local 204 has released a steamy new calendar to raise funds for a new hitching post at the local Mennonite church. “The ladies of Winkler simply cannot resist a schekjbenjel with his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Lives the Exact Same Day Over and Over and Over

February 2, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Local man Henry Krahn has woken up each morning for the past thirty-five years, ate a piece of cold left-over formavorscht from the night before, stretched and said ‘oba jo‘ to no […]

The Daily Bonnet

All Abe Friesens Required By Law to Use Middle Initial

January 30, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Abe Friesen the mechanic (no, not Abe Friesen the Associate Pastor at the Main Street Brethren, or Abe Friesen the truck driver from Lowe Farm) is sick and tired of being confused for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Successfully Traces His Ancestors Back to Adam

January 28, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Local man Elmer P. Dueck, 84, has spent the last forty years of his life meticulously researching his family tree, and has recently become the first Mennonite ever to trace his ancestry all […]

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