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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Police Seize Massive Stockpile of Knitted Hangers

October 5, 2017 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Seven Mennonite grandmas from Altona were taken into custody by authorities this Monday after a massive stash of knitted hangers was discovered in the lobby of the local MB church. It was the […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Eye New Colony in Antarctica

October 3, 2017 Andrew

GRYTVIKEN, ANTARCTICA After running out of room and finding sin all over the Americas, thousands of Mennonites are now seriously considering relocating to the last un-inhabited place on earth: Antarctica. “The Devil found us in […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Top 50 Most Common Mennonite Surnames

September 29, 2017 Andrew

We all know Mennos like to have large families, but some of us are considerably more prolific in this department than others. So, what are the most common Dutch/Prussian/ “Low German” Mennonite surnames? Let’s have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Jokes Explained to Non-Mennonites

September 23, 2017 Andrew

If you’ve ever ventured into a coffee shop or church lobby in Winkler, Altona, or Grunthal, you’ve probably heard the same five or six jokes told over and over again. For some reason, us Mennonites […]

The Daily Bonnet

Province to Enforce Demilitarized Zone Between Morden and Winkler

September 17, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER-MORDEN, MB In order to ease tensions in the region, a mile-wide demilitarized zone has been established between the twin Mennonite cities of Morden and Winkler. The Pembina Valley DMZ will act as a buffer […]

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