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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Find Out All the Data Nosy Mrs. Martens Has Collected About You

April 15, 2018 Andrew

After being ordered by United States Congress to inform users about the data being collected on them, ‘The Mrs. Martens Files’ reveal the following information that she’s collected about you: your favourite television show: The […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Become a Cheap Mennonite in 7 Easy Steps

April 13, 2018 Andrew

Mennonites are a frugal bunch. At least we used to be. These days I see Mennonites with the latest second-hand designer t-shirts and jeans without patches. Oba. Back in my day, we never would have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Fans Ruin Winnipeg Jets Whiteout By Wearing All Black Suits

April 12, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Apparently unaware of the long-standing playoff tradition of wearing white, local Old Order Mennonite Peter Friesen decided to wear his very best black suit to Vanapag Yats game this week. “Vell, I vanted […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging

April 9, 2018 Andrew

We all change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to become your parents. Here are the Daily Bonnet, we’re committed to helping you identify and fight the seven signs of aging…for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply

April 8, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB Local woman Maria Dueck, 43, estimates she’s saved her family more than five thousand dollars this year by turning her two-ply toilet paper into one. As a mother of twelve growing children and […]

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