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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Lady Calls Into ‘Trading Post’ Every Day for Thirty Years

February 28, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Mrs. L. Brandt has been trying to get rid of her old ironing board on the radio Trading Post for the past three decades. “I haven’t missed a Trading Post since the […]

The Daily Bonnet

More than a Dozen Friesens Found Frozen in Friedensruh

February 27, 2018 Andrew

FRIEDENSRUH, MB Well, it finally happened! The Friesens of Friedensruh were found frozen just outside the family farm this Friday. According to forensics, the Friesens have been frozen since Fall, but thanks to rising temperatures […]

The Daily Bonnet

Canadians Heartbroken After American Crokinole Squad Defeats Team Canada in Shootout

February 23, 2018 Andrew

PYEONGCHANG, SOUTH KOREA Extra time was needed to decide the Gold Medal in Women’s Crokinole at the 2018 Winter Olympics on Wednesday. After two hours where neither team was able to reach that 100 point […]

The Daily Bonnet

Dishes are Miraculously Washed as Mennonite Man Naps on Sunday Afternoon

February 18, 2018 Andrew

SCHANZENBURG, SK After devouring a delicious meal of schinke fleish and fried potatoes, local man Henry Wiebe, 47, decided to unbutton his pants, kick up his feet, and lie down in the living room while […]

The Daily Bonnet

Romance Tips for Mennonites

February 14, 2018 Andrew

Ah, Valentine’s Day. Both the coldest and warmest holiday of the year. Today, we hit the streets of Altona to find out what the locals were doing for Valentine’s Day and to see if they […]

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