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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mom’s Spoon Preferred to Dad’s Belt, Survey Results Suggest

April 29, 2018 Andrew

SALEM, OR A new survey of Mennonite children and ex-children suggests a strong preference for mom’s spoon to dad’s belt during disciplinary sessions. The survey asked more than a thousand Mennonite children and two thousand […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Nylons Now Come in Three New Shades of Brown

April 29, 2018 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mennonite ladies across Southern Manitoba were excited to discover all the new shades of brown being offered by their local nylon stocking supplier. In addition to the classic chestnut brown, Mennonite nylons now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Homeschoolers Add Crokinole to their Core Curriculum

April 25, 2018 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Homeschool parents Edna and Harold Klassen of Swift Current are committed to providing their children with the highest level of education possible. Recently, the Klassens decided to cut back on math and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Find Out Which Cousin You Will Marry

April 23, 2018 Andrew

Plenty of online quizzes will tell you HOW SOON you’ll get married or in what month and other useless information like that. Only this Daily Bonnet chart will tell you which cousin you’ll marry. Let’s […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tipping Etiquette for Mennonites

April 17, 2018 Andrew

Sometimes it’s hard to navigate the world of tipping etiquette. You tip the pizza delivery guy, but not the paperboy? It can get really confusing and though there’s plenty of advice out there written by […]

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