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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Old Colony Mennonites Confused for Trick-or-Treaters

October 31, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A group of Old Colony Mennonites were walking around Winkler today and, for some strange reason, people kept handing them Halloween candy. “One lady complemented me on my costume,” said Corny Wall, visiting […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach City Council Candidate Reveals Shocking DNA Test Results

October 23, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local city council candidate Mr. Harder decided to take a DNA test this week after being called a “Lutheran” by one of his political rivals. The rival, Mr. Dyck, said he would donate […]

The Daily Bonnet

New TV Show ‘Cash Buggy’ Offers Riders a Chance to Win Money While on the Way to Church

October 20, 2018 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON A new spin-off of the popular TV show ‘Cash Cab’ offers conservative Mennonites and Amish the chance to answer a few trivia questions and win a bit of money on their way […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Acting like an idiot’: Mennonite Driver Clocked at Just 2.32 km/hr on Trans-Canada Highway

October 19, 2018 Andrew

THOMSON STATION, NS According to CBC News, a Mennonite driver vacationing in Nova Scotia this summer, was allegedly caught driving at over 2 km/h on the Trans-Canada Highway this week. “This is the fastest speed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Naps Right Through Faspa

October 16, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Local man, Lyle Braun, 37, was so tuckered out after a long week at work that he slept right through faspa on Sunday. By the time he woke up his wife Anne […]

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